The Blokes’ Guide to Buying Pink Bras: Part One

…or all you have always wanted to know about Pink Lingerie but were afraid to ask.

That time has come that you can’t put off any longer. Flowers just won’t cut it – you want to buy the woman of your dreams some gorgeous frillies.

Some guys walk into lingerie shops to have a little look around and spot an item that they really love. Like really, REALLY love. The ever-helpful assistant hovers and says with a big smile, “Do you need any help?”
Do you need help! Crikey. It’s like being plunged into a foreign country without so much as a guidebook.

“Do you like this bra?”
Crikey, yes. You can just imagine the woman the woman of your dreams modelling this slinky little number.
“I’ll have one of those in red satin with black lace trim, please”.
“What size would you like?”

Thud. That was the sound of your heavy heart.
“Errmmmm. She’s about your size. But rounder. What size are you?”

The chances of the shop assistant telling you her bra size are slim to none. The best you can hope for at this point is to ask for a Gift Receipt for your girl to use for the inevitable goods exchange about 24 hours after you present her with the garment. Because not only will it probably be the wrong size, but red and black nether garments are usually chosen by men, not by women.

How can you avoid this debacle?
Firstly, sneak a look in her underwear drawer (or drawers, if you’re really lucky). Bras have little labels inside, near the clasp. The writing can fade, so check newish ones. If there is more than one size, look at the ones you have seen her wear recently, as they’ll be the ones that fit her now. There will be two elements, a number and a letter, for example 34B. Watch out for metric measurements and never confuse centimetres with inches. Telling an assistant that your girlfriend has a size 80 inch chest is NOT going to go down well…

To be continued.